Host: George Dawes Green
George Dawes Green: [00:00:03] Welcome to The Moth Podcast. I'm George Dawes Green, founder of The Moth.
Meg Bowles: [00:00:08] And I'm Meg Bowles, senior director at The Moth.
George Dawes Green: [00:00:11] Every week in 2022, we've been commemorating our 25th Anniversary by taking a look at our history, counting down year by year. In this episode, we'll be revisiting 2001. A lot of things happened in 2001, but to me, it was the great year of experimentation. We kept playing around with the ideas, themes and how to gather storytellers. Meg, do you remember the night at the Rose Planetarium when we had stories about coming home?
Meg Bowles: [00:00:46] I do. I do. It was such an amazing night, because all the storytellers brought a different perspective on theme of coming home. We had the Astronaut Rick Hauck who talked about coming home from space and landing the shuttle and being nervous about it. We had Frank McCourt who talked about going back to Ireland after the success of his book, Angela's Ashes.
George Dawes Green: [00:01:09] And do you remember the soldier who came back from battle at World War II to his little town in Ohio? Everybody in the town thought he'd been killed. So, when he came into town, everybody thought they were looking at a ghost.
Meg Bowles: [00:01:28] [chuckles] I do. That was amazing. He came and told the story on stage wearing his full World War II army uniform. But I think it's really hard to think about 2001 without remembering September 11th, because it was such a huge event in our lives and especially in New York. I remember doing a show after those events and how just impactful it was.
George Dawes Green: [00:01:57] And so, for 2001, we've decided to play a never before aired story from Keith Young. Keith Young was a firefighter on September 11th, and he told this story on a New York Mainstage barely a month after what happened. The theme of the night was Carpe Diem: stories of our most vital moments. Here's Keith Young.
[cheers and applause]
Keith: [00:02:19] Thank you. Thank you, guys. September 11th actually started out as a beautiful day. It was absolutely beautiful outside. It was sunny. It was warm. It was actually my 4-year-old son's first day of pre-K. I remember bringing him to the bus stop, and he was very nervous and me and my wife were looking at him, and we had a little tear in our eye. So, a little guy and he's going off to school for the first time in a bus. And my wife goes, “Keith, just let him go. Yeah. [audience laughter] Don't pick him up anymore. He has to get on the bus.” [audience laughter] I said, “All right. All right.”
So, he got on the bus and we told him to turn around, so we could take a picture of him. He had that look like he was kind of scared. I had a little tear coming out of my eyes, “Give me a smile, Christian.” So, he gave me a smile, and me and my wife and my daughter and our two dogs went walking back to the house. [audience laughter] And then, we had to drop off my eight-year-old Kaylee, so she could get on her bus. And that's how the day started. We were very happy and we got some really good pictures.
So, I got home. It was about 10 to 9. I got a phone call from my wife's nephew and he said, “Keith, put on the TV. Put on the news right now.” So, I did. I don't watch the news. I don't read the newspaper. I'm terrible at that. I guess it depresses me.
Well, I was depressed when I saw what was going on. I saw that the first tower had been hit. And I was just thinking to myself in my own way, like just being a fireman, I just said, “How are we going to put this out? There's so much black, thick smoke in there right now. Those people up above have no idea what's going on. They probably lost power. They're probably scared out of their wits. How are we going to get up there and help these people out? What are we going to do?”
They we were talking about it being a small plane, but I didn't think it was a small plane. I said, “No small plane just hits it like that. It was a big plane.” It was a lot, a lot of thick black smoke. So, as me and my wife and my mother-in-law were watching it, the second plane came in. We noticed the big explosion, and it was horrible. It was absolutely unbelievable. What I thought was, all right, we've got definite-- This is a terrorist attack. I go, “We've got firemen out the kazoo going up inside both buildings right now.” I said, “I'm definitely going to lose some friends today. I don't know how many, but I'm going to lose somebody I know.”
So, I kept watching. I was sick, I was pacing, I was nervous, I was scared. I almost felt like I was going to throw up. My wife was crying. My mother-in-law, she didn't know what to do. And I kept watching and I'm thinking to myself, all right, how are we going to get up there? How are we going to put this out?
I watched the first tower come down and I told my wife, I said, “We just lost 200 guys.” I said, “We just lost 200 guys.” It hurt me, you know? It really hurt me bad. My wife was crying, and I was trying to keep it together. I wasn't crying at this point. I didn't cry. I was really nervous and I said, “I'm going to have to go in.” And my wife said, “You're not going in today.” And I said, “I'm going to have to.” And then, we watched the second tower come down. I just didn't know what to do.
So, a couple of minutes later, I got a phone call from work. My lieutenant told me, “Keith, the second tower came down, and we think we lost the Battery Tunnel. Firemen were going through and they can't see anything. They think they lost the Battery Tunnel too.” So, I said, “All right, Lou. I'll be in.” My wife just broke down crying, and she said, “Don't go in. Stay here with us. I love you.” I said, “Honey, I got to go in. This is what we do. I'm a fireman, and they need me and you can't give up now.” So, I didn't say it. I wasn't crying like I am now, but I was like, “I got to go in.” So, she said, “If you're going in, then we're going to get the kids and you're going to wait till Christian gets off the bus and then you're going to go into work.” I said, “Okay.”
So, my son got off the bus, and he was smiling and I grabbed him like I never grabbed him before. I picked him up, I kissed him and I said, “We got to go get Kaylee out of school.” So, we went. We got my daughter Kaylee. She, of course, was happy to see us, “Oh, I'm getting out of school early.” [audience laughter] So, I get her. And she goes, “Dad, why is everybody coming to school today? Why are we leaving early?” I said, “Kaylee, something bad happened today. Some bad people did some bad things, and I got to go to work.” And she said, “When are you coming home?” And I said, “Kaylee, I don't know. I'm going to come home when they let me come home, okay?”
So, I told her I was taking her out for ice cream. And of course, wooo, her and Christian were all psyched. So, we got to the ice cream stand, and I sat them down, and I got their favorite ice creams, and I got them two scoops instead of one [audience laughter] and I said to Kaylee and Christian, I looked them in the eyes and I said, “You two know I love you, and I got to go to work and I don't know if I'm going to be home. So, I want you to take care of each other.” And I said, “I want you to take care of mom. Be good to your mom, be good to your grandma and I'll see you when I get there.” So, my daughter Kaylee said, “Dad, can you come home tomorrow morning?” I said, “Kaylee, I really hope I'm going to be home tomorrow morning.”
So, driving into work, it was chaotic. I was trying to go west on Merrick Road and Sunrise Highway on Long Island. It was totally packed. So, I went up to Southern State, and there was nobody on the road, but had to get by a couple of police barricades. There was no cars on the road. I passed a couple of cars. They had five guys in it, probably cops just rushing to the scene. And then, I just drove on Bell Parkway, and there was nobody. It was the strangest thing I ever saw. It was the strangest thing I ever felt, being on Bell Parkway by myself in the middle of the day. And I drove.
So, I got to my firehouse. I'm in Ladder 156 in Brooklyn. It's in the Midwood section, south of Flatbush, north of Coney Island. I got into work and I said, “Lou, where do you need me to go?” And he said, “You got to stay here.” I said, “Lou, I want to go. Let me get in there.” He said, “No, you got to stay here. You got to work the brush fire unit.” The brush fire unit is like the lowest of the low in the fire department. [audience laughter] If you're fighting brush fires in New York City, there is a problem. [audience laughter] [audience applause]
So, I watched as the night unfolded, and all I could do was cook because I was tense, I was freaking out and cooking is the only thing that soothed me a little bit. The next day comes, and I was asked to go home by the chief. He said, “Everybody that's worked last night, you're going to be in tomorrow for 24. I want you to go home and get some sleep.” Me and my buddy got in my car and drove straight to Manhattan. [audience applause]
Thank you. But it was everybody, everybody that was a fireman that day was there. Anybody that cared about the city of New York was there. We had firemen working together, we had cops working together, we had iron workers working, we had construction workers working, we had volunteers working, we had nurses, doctors, dogs. People from around the country came together as one, and we worked. I didn't get paid for that day, but it wouldn't have mattered they couldn't pay me enough. The money had no meaning at this point. Nothing did.
If you saw the devastation of that site, what we looked at when I got there, the dust, the covered downtown area, Manhattan, the debris that was everywhere, the papers that were in fire escapes off apartment buildings two blocks away, the dust in the streets on my boots two inches thick, the dust in everybody's nose and their eyes, the smoke that was still coming out of the buildings, it was indescribable and it felt like it was a two mile area. that could have been two miles, but it felt like it was so huge.
We started working, me and my buddy. We went up, we crawled up a pile and there was things that I did there that day that I never would ever have ever thought of doing, nor do I ever want to do them again. We were climbing up steel girders. We were just digging and moving stuff with our hands. We were finding bodies, and another body and another body. We're putting these bodies in body bags. The only thing I could think was, I'm giving these families some closure, because that's the only thing that kept me going at that point.
It was devastating. Wound up, we did a couple of different groups, we worked with a couple of different teams, and nobody was a chief, nobody was a lieutenant. Everybody was one. We worked together. We didn't bicker, we didn't argue. I believe that's the way God wants it. So, when I was there, I'd heard about a couple guys that had died that I knew or that I had heard of that I didn't know personally.
The first firefighter that died, his name was Danny Suhr. Hhe had actually died from a body falling on him. Another fireman, Captain Timothy Stackpole. This guy was an inspiration to anybody that's on the job. As a lieutenant, he got burned severely in a fire in 1998. He almost lost his foot. He rehabilitated himself. He could have been out in three quarters at any time. He came back to the job. He did something unheard of. He came back to the job that he loved so much, and it was his first day as a captain in Midtown and he lost his life that day.
Another fireman, a very good friend of mine, Richie Muldowney, who was actually off. He'd just been relieved as many firemen were that day. They were relieved of their duties, they could go home. He wouldn't have died any other way though, Richie. He wasn't going to go on a little house fire. He went with the big boys. He was the best. But I had never been so proud and I had never been so scared at the same time.
Seeing everybody work together actually gave me a sense of hope that I probably never had before in my life. The fact that we could just work together and all these different agencies that normally don't give a shit about each other or talk to each other. Nobody was a cop. Nobody was a fireman. We were just there and we were busting our ass to do the best thing we could, you know? I give my friends hugs now, you know? I didn't always do that.
I started to pay a little more attention to my friends and appreciate my life a little more. My kids, I just want to say that that day, actually being on that pile of rubble and debris and despair, I actually had a glimpse of hope and strength. I did feel this feeling of life in me. I know that any people, any firemen, any cops that died there wouldn't want us to give up on our lives, and our dreams, and our hopes and just crawl up in a ball and die. They want us to go on, because that's what we're here to do. We're here to be happy. They died for us. That's the way I feel. I feel like they died for us. We got to make it good for them and we can't forget them. And thank you for letting me talk. I really appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you.
[cheers and applause]
Meg Bowles: [00:15:38] That was Keith Young. In addition to being a New York City firefighter, Keith was a father, author of the cookbook, Cooking With the Firehouse Chef and a two-time winner of the Food Network Show, Chopped. In 2018, he passed away from a 9/11 related cancer.
George Dawes Green [00:15:54] So, Meg, I'm remembering when we were organizing that night and that it was a great challenge, because we didn't want to be horrifically grim. I think that, to me, is the beautiful thing about Keith's story, that even though it's about these horrible events, Keith is talking about blisses that he had throughout that day. Taking his child to school for the first time, or picking his kids up from school and taking them out for ice cream or the beauty of connecting with his colleagues. The grimness, of course, is there. We feel it. We feel the pain. We know that Keith and all of us healing is going to take a long time, but I remember that it was beautiful to hear him talk about the beauty of life.
Meg Bowles: [00:16:59] And all those moments that so many people collectively had just been through. I remember right after 9/11 talking about doing a show and we were all daunted by that, how do we respond to this moment. I remember you saying, “We should do an evening of stories with a theme of Carpe Diem, that we shouldn't have a retrospective of 9/11 stories that we should play with theme Carpe Diem and come at it from different perspectives,” which we did.
We had a very funny story from Mark Katz about being a speechwriter for Clinton. We had Griffin Dunne. I remember we had Reno who talked about trying to get back to her apartment, trying to cross 14th street, the demarcation, and Keith Young, of course. So, we had a couple of 9/11 stories, because we felt it was important to say something, to address and to the elephant in the room, this thing that we had all just been through.
George Dawes Green: [00:17:57] I remember that all of us we were thinking, we don't want this theme of healing to be crammed down our throats. We will heal when we heal. Healing will come. It might take a long, long time.
Meg Bowles: [00:18:16] It's funny, I don't even think I thought about healing. I think I just wanted to be in a room with people. [Keith chuckles] I remember going down to Nell's on 14th Street, ironically on 14th Street, that demarcation between just the chaos of below 14th Street and the semi-normal above 14th Street. But we all went to that pretty small venue really of Nell’s. We were all crammed in there. There were so many people. I don't even think I thought about healing. I think I just wanted to be around people. I wanted to talk to people, I wanted to hear what other people had been through and I wanted to hear stories. I remember it made such a difference. I just remember the feeling, it’s so great.
George Dawes Green: [00:19:04] Yeah, there never was a time. There never was a time when that Moth magic came in more usefully, that sense of we gather as a community, we start listening to stories. If the stories are true, we are moved together. There's just something about being in a community when you're hearing stories-- The community, our response. We could tell was changing the stories on stage. We were helping Keith to get through this story and he was helping us. That sort of magic, communal experience that you have at The Moth--
Meg Bowles: [00:19:52] We all processing, right? We were all processing. It was such a communal moment. I'll never forget it.
George Dawes Green: [00:20:00] Nor will I. Well, shall we leave it there?
Meg Bowles: [00:20:05] Yes.
George Dawes Green: [00:20:07] From everyone here at The Moth, have a great week.
Marc Sollinger: [00:20:12] George Dawes Green is the founder of The Moth, and a New York Times best-selling author. His first novel, The Caveman's Valentine, won the Edgar Award and became a motion picture starring Samuel L. Jackson. The Juror was the basis for the movie starring Demi Moore and Alec Baldwin. Ravens was chosen as one of the best books of 2009 by the Los Angeles Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Daily Mail of London and many other publications.
The Kingdoms of Savannah, Green's latest novel, was published this July to widespread acclaim. Neil Gaiman called it the apotheosis of Southern Gothic. The New York Times says that it's layered, but like a parfait goes down, sweet, chilled and easy. Green shows how you can love a place's stink, find it splendid even as you despise its sediment. Green grew up in Georgia and now lives in Brooklyn, New York.
Meg Bowles is a senior director of The Moth and cohost of The Moth Radio Hour. Signing on as a volunteer for The Moth in 1997, she had no idea where The Moth would taker. Over the decades, she has directed Mainstage shows everywhere from Anchorage to London. Although her background in television and film served to sharpen her editorial sense and eye for detail, she is recognized for her ability to spot stories in the wild and to hone in on what transforms a seemingly small story into something universal. For her part, Meg loves working with people one-on-one, witnessing and supporting their progress. She is especially excited to see people who never imagined themselves as having a story go on to proudly claim the moniker of storyteller.
This episode of The Moth Podcast was produced by Sarah Austin Jenness, Sarah Jane Johnson and me, Marc Sollinger. The story in this episode was directed by Meg Bowles and Joey Zander. The rest of The Moth’s leadership team include Catherine Burns, Sarah Haberman, Jenifer Hixson, Meg Bowles, Kate Tellers, Jennifer Birmingham, Marina Klutse, Suzanne Rust, Brandon Grant, Lee Ann Gullie, Inga Glodowski and Aldi Kaza. All Moth stories are true, as remembered by their storytellers.
For more about our podcast, information on pitching your own story and everything else, go to our website, themoth.org. The Moth Podcast is presented by PRX, The Public Radio Exchange, helping make public radio more public at prx.org.